Mark's Law of Dancing Music

Here is Mark's Law of Dancing Music, or Music To Dance To:

No song which leads with a guitar, or multiple guitars, be they analog or electric, is a dance song. Period. Do not try to argue with this law, your argument flops dying on the floor like a fish gasping for water, much like how you must dance.

Corollary: Spanish music is exempted.
Corollary to the Corollary: If it is Spanish music, there is a dance, and one specific dance, which may be danced to that song, be it a Mambo, Salsa, etc. If you do not know that dance, sit down. You will simply continue to embarrass yourself, as you did while squawking to the chicken dance.

Wedding DJ's, take heed: stop playing songs with guitars in them as primary instruments. Especially if the song has a solo. No one knows how to dance to these songs, because they are undancable to all but either the most skilled (who aren't at your wedding), the most drunk (who don't care what's being played), or the most painfully inept (which no one really wants to watch, except to be thankful that it is not them). No more Def Leoppard, Metallica, Rolling Stones, Offspring, or anything like that, unless the bride is specifically paying you for that song. In which case, it is she who needs to consult the rule, not you. Grooms don't count.

That is all.